The five people you find in Perth

What Perth lacks in size, the people sure make up for in character. We’ve compiled a list of five Perth people you are bound to encounter at your local, in the CBD or even on your morning route to work down the Mitchell Freeway. 

1. The driver who doesn’t indicate.

These are the Perth people who can make your morning commute to work even worse than our congestion already does. That tiny space between you and the car in front of you? Ah yes, that’s the undefined space they will attempt to squeeze themselves into without even a flicker of their indicator. Better still, you’ll probably cop a look of disgust when you speed up to stop their idiocy. 

2. The FIFO worker who is living the dream

They’ll be working up north for two weeks, in Japan the next, back up north and then away in Bali the following weekend. It’s the dream we all wish we were living, as we slump in our office chairs and stare out the window on our nine to five weekday grind. They’re sure to rub it in as they roll up to your place with their new 4WD, boat and tan to match. I’m talking about the high-vis wearing, beer chugging fellows who choose to buy two jet-skis and a new dual-cab because, well, they can. 

3. The ‘Douth’ regular 

You don’t need to live down south to be this one. The ‘Douth’ regular jumps on the Bussell highway as soon as someone mentions the upcoming long weekend. Whether they’re off to tour the breweries, surf or laze on the beach in Yallingup, Margs or Busso; you can rest assured they will probably come back with a speeding fine and have the next long weekend set in their sights. 

4. The festival fanatic

How to spot a festival fanatic? They share posts from the festival’s page on Facebook in hope of scoring free tickets, spend their days searching the internet for the perfect outfit and then post a photo of themselves in said outfit at pre drinks before venturing to the festival that they may or may not remember because of one too many tinnies. Don't forget the all important photo, captioned of course with the festival name and some meaningless emojis, not to mention promoting the glitter-hair trend that looks like you lost a fight with the craft section at Spotlight. 

5. The Golden Triangle snob

See also No3. Before you’ve even had the chance to finish asking the question, they proudly present the fact they’re from Subiaco, Claremont or Dalkeith. Public schools are unfamiliar to them, Cottesloe is their local beach, UWA is where they have achieved their finance degree and their 2016 Audi definitely beats your scratched up hand me down; even if they aren’t too sure how to drive it. Should you try to explain that you live in an area not located in the Western Suburbs, you’ll probably get hit with a “where on earth is that?”. The G.T. is also one of the only places in Perth requiring heavy signage at intersections, reminding local drivers NOT to cue in the roundabouts!