Unlucky in love?

If you’re living the single life in Perth, you’ll know the local dating scene has seen it’s better days… Whether you’re a dating virgin, a serial first-dater or re-visiting single town after a long-term relationship, finding “the one” just isn’t as easy as the movies make it out to be. 

With Valentines approaching and Perth’s singles in mind, we’ve been speaking to local expert and founder of Dare2Date, Debbie Rivers, to pinpoint where Perth’s singletons are going wrong and find out why relationship coaching could be the answer to our modern-day dating difficulties.

The modern problem: are we suffering from ‘analysis paralysis’?

You can’t rule out dating in any medium, but there’s no denying the dating scene has changed with the introduction of online apps like Tinder….and not necessarily for the better. It’s nice to know there are plenty of people out there, but too much choice isn’t always a good thing! Debbie calls this phenomenon ‘analysis paralysis’- we're given SO much choice thanks to online dating that we fail to make the all-important decision to settle down. Dating has always been about the chase, but Tinder might be taking the game a little too far… we’re all suffering from serial first-dater syndrome, constantly thinking about our next potential match.

Alternatively, could online dating actually be changing the way we communicate? Dating apps such as Tinder definitely help people when it comes to finding a date easily, but are we forgetting HOW to date when we actually meet that special someone in person? That’s what Debbie found when she first set up Dare2Date, speed-daters would struggle to make a match because they didn’t know how to approach face-to-face dating.

Then there’s the final phenomenon apps like Tinder and Grindr have introduced - dating for sex. You don’t even need to move off the couch to have your way these days - it’s literally a click (or swipe) away. But when sex is easier to get, love is often harder to find … and despite this modern take on dating, we still opt for the old-school ideal of love when it comes down to the serious stuff.

Changing your game plan 

If you’re always unlucky in love, this might be a sign it’s time to change up your dating game. Identifying where we’re going wrong isn’t always easy… but that's where expert advice can come in handy.

Whether you’re repeating past relationship patterns (they failed in the past for a reason!), lacking a little confidence, or nervous about getting back into the dating space, relationship coaching could be the answer to getting more proficient in picking up the RIGHT person. As a qualified coach, Debbie helps Perth singles build up the skills they need when it comes to meeting people face-to-face. With a little expert advice, she’ll help you break rocky relationship cycles and form an action plan going forward, because every girl loves a man with a plan.

A proven success - After a few relationship coaching sessions, Debbie finds her speed-daters have a far bigger success (or ‘yes’) rate at her events.

Top tips from our local expert 

•   The three date rule - You should be picky when it comes you’re spending your life with someone, but don’t fall into the trap of being overly judgmental. As a rule of thumb, you need to give someone three dates before you give them the boot. You never know - the more you know someone, the more you might like them. Or vice versa - even the prettiest Prince Charming has his flaws!

•   A little bit of self lovin’ goes a long way - You can’t be in a relationship twisting like a pretzel to be someone else. You need to be comfortable with being you. The happier you are, the better the choices you make when it comes to finding the right person.

•   Visualise - You don’t get what you want by focusing on what you don’t want. Stop focusing on not wanting a guy/girl who treats you a certain way, and focus instead on what you do want from a relationship.

•   Love doesn’t always come to you - They might say you’ll find “the one” when you least expect it, but in reality love doesn’t come signed, sealed, delivered. Don’t be over-obsessed with finding Mr (or Mrs) Right, but be open to trying out new things and meeting new people.

•   Hold off on sex (at least for now) - In reality, playing a little hard to get can be beneficial in the long run. If you want to know whether they’re really a keeper, give them a chance to get to know you before you invite them up for a nightcap. If they're interested in you for the right reasons, they won't mind waiting.

Put it to the test

You can put Debbie’s advice to the test at any of her upcoming singles events. Dare2Date run all sorts of activities for Perth singletons looking for love, from cooking classes to pub crawls. So no more excuses!

All aboard! Join Debbie and her mystery daters on Feb 12th for Dare2Date’s Valentine’s cruise event. You never know… you might not be spending Valentines alone after all!

“Love is the best thing that can happen to you—it makes people happier, healthier and wealthier when they meet the right person” - Debbie Rivers

Are you unlucky in love? Debbie Rivers runs Dare2Date - a local Perth based dating agency offering one on one dating advice and relationship coaching for Perth singles.